Where To Bang Your Husband When You're Co-sleeping
Another mom asked me at the park if we ever have sex since our youngest still sleeps in our bed. I laughed thinking "you know you can have sex in other places besides the bed right?"
So, everyone put your big girl panties on because we're about to talk about sex. If you're reading this post on a mom blog chances are you have kids and well if you can remember after all those brain cells your kids have killed, sex is the first step in parenting. Isn’t it ironic the simple act that got them here is now the one thing their good at stopping? I swear if my oldest had a super power it would be sensing when mom and dad are alone.
It's true we're awful people who co-sleep. For no other reason except it works for us. I recently read a study that co-sleeping moms get more sleep than non co-sleeping moms. I'm still nursing so the thought of waking up to nurse and rock her back to bed at 3am only to unsuccessfully "bear trap" her back to her crib makes me want to stab my eye out with a fork. I mean we're basically at the point now where she can pretty much just get the damn thing out herself without ever waking me up. I’m getting a full 8 hours a sleep these days. I’m not giving that up for anything. Do you mamas, do whatever the hell works.
So here's my list of places to get frisky with your partner even if you do co-sleep.
1- THE SHOWER - so much shower sex. When asking other moms for this article where they were getting dirty it was always the shower. It’s easy and you get to knock out two things at once. The shower you’ve been desperately needing and some nookie.
2- COUCH SEX- both my kids and our angel baby were conceived quickies on the couch. Maybe one day if I get comfortable enough with you strangers I'll have the balls to tell the tale of how Huck became known as the Uncle Boon's Baby.
3- STORAGE UNIT/GARAGE- if you're raising kids in this lovely city there's a damn good chance you own a storage unit. If you live in the suburbs I’m sure you have a garage. Sometimes mommy and daddy need to organize the storage unit or fix the car in private. Just take the baby monitor. I’m a firm believer baby monitors were invented so parents could have sex.
4- GET A BABYSITTER OR GRANDMA AND HAVE A STAYCATION – thanks to amazing apps like Hotels Tonight you can stay in a 5 star hotel for next to nothing in a moment’s notice. Take some time for the two of you and get the hell out of the house. Feel free to steal a game we play when away called You Mention the Kids you Take a shot of Tequila.
Having kids doesn’t have to kill your sex life. You just have to be creative again (like in college when you had 3 roommates) and luckily for us this generation of parents have the power of YouTube.